About Us

Who we are... Why we're here...

JOE

I was born gay and raised Mormon. Those two facts might not explain everything about me but it explains a whole hell of a lot. In high school I was a varsity wrestler and at 19 I served a 2 year mission for the Church in Buenos Aires, Argentina. After that I attended BYU and after graduation I joined a comedy improv troupe. Those have been the external milestones of my life for the last several years but this blog will cover the hidden journey from pain and misery to peace and self-acceptance. 

As good little Mormon Primary students we get up in front of the whole congregation and with some prompting declare "I love my family. I love the Church, I love...puppies..."

The 1st and 3rd statements are still true for me. The 2nd is not. I won't unpack now why the Church no longer makes my Favorite-Things-List but I will say that Gwen and I bear many, deep, still-painful scars inflicted by the Mormon Church/Culture.

Regarding my family (among whom I count my close friends including Gwen) I consider my self very fortunate. I feel that Gwen and I were meant to be in each other's lives and that's one of the reasons it's so important to share my story with her through this blog. 

Our shared story also explains a great deal about who I am today. Gwen has helped me transition from a self-hating gay man to a self-affirming person who happens to be gay. Thanks to the love and support I've received from Gwen and my other family members I've reached a point where my orientation defines only a small part of who I am. It's no longer the soul crushing burden I struggled with for more than 20 years. 

Equal Rights for Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisexual and Trans-Gendered People is very important to Scout and me. I have a gay brother, a bisexual aunt, and lesbian cousin and I want them to be completely accepted as full citizens with all the liberties my straight loved ones enjoy. Full civil protection for LGBT individuals is a goal I hope to see realized in my lifetime, but what good is legal approbation if we are excluded by our closest relations from family dinners, reunions, birthdays and holidays, or shut out of the lives of our nephews and nieces.

As I indicated before I consider myself very blessed in my familial relationships as does Gwen but we fear that we are the exception rather than the rule within Mormon-dom. Hopefully this blog will be a source of comfort, consolation, and information for those who are LGBT and those who know and love LGBT individuals (especially within the Mormon faith). 

We don't want this forum to be Mormon-bashing blog. Many of our dearest loved ones are devout Mormons but as the LDS Church and the LGBT Community are currently at odds and many innocent people are caught in the crossfire, Gwen and I feel it is essential that we share what we've learned from our often painful Church experiences.

Thank you for reading!

GWEN

I was born into a straight-laced Mormon family and community, perfectly content in my Queerness. I could hit a baseball at age 2, and spent my first couple summers playing with worms in the gutter. I practiced shaving with my dad, ran around the block with my shirt off, insisted on having short hair and cried my eyes out every time I was forced to wear a dress.

By the time I was 5 I realized that it wasn't ok to be who I was AND continue to belong in my community. I knew I had to fight it [How? I was 5] or attempt to hide it [FAIL!] or find a way to fly under the GAYdar so I could survive [How about flying OVER it? Bingo]. Fortunately, besides being born gay, I was also born the oldest of 5 kids with a knack for mischief and mayhem. Creative distraction and pyrotechnics became my specialty. 

Like Joe, I spent my teens and early 20's attempting to live up to those Mormon expectations of gender and sexuality. I was willing to do whatever it took to achieve those outward milestones that are used in the Mormon faith to measure a person's worthiness. I used my internalized homophobia to "fake it to make it" until it almost killed me. 

Simply put, meeting Joe was one of many moments that saved my life. I think because it was like looking into a mirror. Our situations were so similar; we came from the same background, struggled with the same issues and wanted the same things out of life. Accepting him was easy and eventually led to accepting myself. 

Our goal with this blog is to be that mirror for others who, like ourselves, are on the long road toward self acceptance. We aim to paint the MOHO (Mormon Homosexual) experience as a human one, because Humanness is the great equalizer. If we counter the sub-human messages we receive from others with a sense of validity, HUMOR and acceptance of our own humanity perhaps we can eventually love and live equally.